*cringes at 9 year old me*

*cringes at 13 year old me*

*cringes at year ago me*

*cringes at day ago me*

*cringes at future me*

why i can’t sleep at night

i lay awake

  • replaying my college major, that led to extreme debt, long periods of unemployment, and career unfulfillment
  • thinking about the fucked up people i’ve trusted in my life and get annoyed that i’m spending precious moments of my life thinking about them - more or less, i spend a lot of time analyzing the awful/liars/shitty people and try to understand what makes someone spontaneously shitty
  • how bad i miss my dog. so fucking bad.
  • the past and how i can’t change things, but how i subsequently regret things that i believe have fucked me solely due to karma on past actions
  • holocene, and flying away from pdx, looking down and feeling the most simultaneously empty and full; a rebirth almost if you will, at 24
  • style guides and why there are so many
  • stereotypes and why everyone thinks i’m an uneducated 19 year old bitch that flunked out of college
  • how i love and hate philadelphia so much that it’s obscene 
  • that i’m getting hella old. and things still haven’t fallen into place
  • accepting that things haven’t fallen into place because they may never will
  • silently singing rilo kiley songs and replaying shows over and over in my head
  • getting upset over having insomnia

there’s not enough melatonin in the world.



My favorite picture/piece of artwork by far.

listener - wooden heart

american football - i’ll see you when we’re both so not emotional

saves the day - my sweet fracture

this has meant the most to me for literally half my life now.